JFlow's Musings

Flamingo Court Perf Rpt 08-08-08

FYI - The incident report our House Management Filed on Friday night.

Incident Report

Date: August 8, 2008

Time: 8:00pm

Place: Stage 2

Description:

At 8pm, while Dane was giving the go-time to Eileen, he was informed by head usher John Rice that a patron had a guinea pig resting on her bosom and was disturbing other patrons—another patron complained to John that the woman behind her had a hamster and she was allergic to hamsters. Finding this very bizarre, Dane walked down to the patron, who was sitting in row K, seat 1, and found that the woman did have a guinea pig resting on her bosom. Apparently, she sneaked it in in a bag. Dane asked her to put it away, at which point she responded that it had blue eyes and was her only friend in the world. Upon hearing this, Dane realized that the woman was unstable and that she would need to be removed from the theater. Eileen was notified to hold the show, and Erin came into the theater to assist. Ushers Charles Thorpe and John Rice and Stage Door Tim Wilson also came in to help. When we tried to gently coerce the patron to step outside so that the performance could begin, she grew irate and spewed forth lots of hateful speech (e.g.-Dane is a black **** whose daddy is a pimp, and Dane should go up to the Dominican Day Parade on Sunday so that they can beat him up. Erin needs to lose 40lbs., get a breast reduction, and a new haircut, because she is a blue-eyed Christian WASP **** that needs to go to church. She also wondered where Charles’ braids were, since he was black. She also threatened to kill Jackie Mason, because he betrayed by closing the show early, and also threatened to bite off Erin’s nose with her dentures off and burn the building down. These are only a few examples). The police were called.

Both the producers and stage management were very understanding and helpful. Erin asked Eileen if she wanted to start the show and then interrupt it when the police came to drag her out or if she would rather hold. She decided to hold the curtain until the police came. All of the patrons that were sitting near this woman were moved to the other side of the theatre. She continued to yell obscenities and began to wave her cane around. She made several violent threats to the theatre and our staff.

At 8:20 PM the police finally showed up, cuffed her and escorted her out of the theatre while the audience watched and cheered. Most of the audience members were very patient and understanding with the exception of one man who threatened to sue us because we were starting the show late. He said that he would call American Express and have them cancel all the charges for tonight’s performance if we did not start the show. Carolyn asked Erin if they could offer a free intermission drink to their patrons, which she okayed—luckily it was a small house. They announced this which brought a huge round of applause.

The show went up at 8:27 PM.

Signed,

Dane Joseph

Erin Fehr

**UPDATE: On Saturday, August 9th the patron’s husband came to the theater to inquire after the guinea pig and to ask for a refund. Dane told him the pet was taken by the police and he was not granted a refund.